Imogen. Thats why Ive collected a list of best chocolate jokes for you. Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: "Don't worry, son. What is a monkey's favorite cookie? When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate. Add love and sweet chocolate to your romantic life today. Cao-cao! It is the best friend of those engaged in literary pursuits. The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?". Miranda Ingram, All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt! The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Coffee Jokes. Hershey Common and the Heat Ray. (Its the only planet with chocolate.). With these dirty chocolate jokes, youll make your lady smile. All Rights Reserved. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream "Oh Henry, Oh Henry!" When people dessert you, eat ice cream! I think it was an Aero plane.I once saw people arguing over the last piece of chocolate. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Im never a selfish person but when it comes to sharing you with other peopleI dont think so. 1. Nibbling is not enough, know that I want to devour you fast. A mum to her son: Yesterday there were two chocolate cakes in the pantry and now theres only one. Norman Hollenberg, M.D., Ph.D., Harvard Medical School, Chocolate contains large amounts of the same beneficial plant chemicals that now have burnished the reputation of tea. Louis Lemery, 1702, The divine drink which builds up resistance and fights fatigue. What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? First, invade ze kitchen. If Jake has 30 chocolate bars, and eats 25, what does he have? "For my second wish, I would like 10 million pounds." - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. "hand me another one" he ate that too, " hand me one more" and he ate it. Because you're making me drool. Its not funny when someone steals your chocolate! We go together naturally like marshmallows go with chocolate. Sandra Boynton, Other things are just food. You are the surprise I wanted to get more than I want chocolate. Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. PayDay! Lets check them out! . A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. Chocolate Chewbacca cookies! Is that a reflex hammer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me! may say Im a dreamer, Emperor Montezuma said: The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?". I am only satisfied for the day because of a sweet like you. Cao-cao!On a cold and gray Chicago mornin where was another little baby chocolate bar born?In the Gateaux (ghetto)!What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate?A Ferrari Rocher!Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd?He was nutty!What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy?Chocolate Chewbacca cookies!Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing?A Bounty-ful!Which candy bar always gets picked first for the sports team?A Skor!What do three men and fluffy nougat covered in chocolate have in common?3 Musketeers!Which is the clumsiest candy bar?A Butterfinger!What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack?Ones about Easter eggs theyre morbid!Which is a chocoholics favorite kind of party?One thats choco-lit!What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar?A Choco-Light!Why did the candy bar cross the road?Because he was choco-LATE for the bus!What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes?Snickers he only snickers!What do you call an extra sweet cookie?A chocolate chip cutie!What do you get when you enrobe a sheep in chocolate?A candy baaaaa-r!Why was the candy bar confused?Because she was a Her-She-y bar!What occasion do cute chocolate bars look forward to all month?PayDay! October 5, 2021 Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. Knock knock! A chocolate baa.They just discovered an Egyptian tomb filled with hazelnuts and chocolate. . What do you get when you enrobe a sheep in chocolate? Food Puns. President Lincoln was approached by a woman after a political speech. There are a few things we can always count on when were having a bad day, but chocolate is one of them! One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother." One liner tags: Christmas, dirty, kids, sport. Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe, Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? What did you guys do? Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Why does the jellybean go to school? Arnold Ismach, The Darker Side of Chocolate. You are like a box full of sweet that I cannot get hands off. You could put all the sweets business if you will be consistently sweet like that. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. A cad-bury. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. I used to hate sweets but I came to love those because of you. Want to come with me? What's the best part of Valentines Day? I have only two weaknesses resisting chocolate and resisting you. Would you like to hear some sexy chocolate jokes? Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Are you Hershey's chocolate? Here are 50 funny Elf jokes, including Elf jokes for kids. Copy This. Roald Dahl, Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I swarm about to protect my nest of chocolate eggs. One key, not just to keeping weight down and staying guilt-free, but also to keeping taste buds sharp (essential for the professionals who evaluate new products as well as judge recipes), is being discriminating. When the old man returned, the young man felt guilty and confessed to taking the peanuts. Can I have chocolate filling please?. But he minded his own business.Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist?He had a chip in his tooth.Why is a Toblerone triangular?So it fits in the box.There are two types of people in this world:People who love chocolate and liars.What is the opposite of Chocolate?Chocoearly.What Christmas carol do candy bars sing?Almond Joy To The World.Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?Because it lost its filling! It's been over 2 millenia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!" Whats Boris Johnsons favourite chocolate bar? Hot chocolate. What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes? Chocolate chimp! A: To get chocolate milk. What the cold weather does to cold people! - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. C? How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? A Guyanese and a Jamaican walk into a store, the guyanese tief a chocolate bar and when they left the store he said "yuh see dat?" In a hotel sweet.What do you call a lamb dipped in chocolate? Babe, you know what's better than that Tootsie roll? Counselor Deanna Troi, Start Trek: The Next Generation. Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826). Do you know a good joke which isn't here. We've got all kinds of funniest dirty minded jokes covering from the nasty dark humor to toilet humor as well. Dear Star Wars, let us count the reasons we love you. A chocolate bar. Dont you think you have got to check if you have diabetes? I know youre a chocolate lover and want to have some fun with your friend, so that will help you. Darling I will supply you with stash of sweets and my never ending love for you. So it fits in the box. - No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. Babe, I don't think there's anything hotter than chocolate, until I met you. Don't bite off more than you can chew, unless its chocolate. It sprinkles! It can make us feel loved. Final score: 569 points. Donut rain on my parade. Therefore, it counteracts depression, in turn reducing the stress of depression. Needless to sayHe got his Snickers in a Twix.Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate.The first one pulled the second one out.The second one said, Thanks, youre a lifesaver!The first one responded, Actually, Im a KitKat.I saw an article about people snorting chocolate powder for a rush.They wanted a Quik high. 59. Its important we remember the true meaning of Easter I love it, I love it, I love it. [1] Quick, Funny Jokes! A guy will actually search for a golf ball. Its a Ferrari Rocher.I heard a chocolate joke the other day, but it wasnt that funny and only got Snickers out of me.Life is like a box of chocolates full of nuts.A boy threw a milk chocolate bar at me. Do not Disturb! All evidence to date suggests its chocolate. Flowers and champagne may set the stage, but its chocolate that steals the show. A Candy Baa. The monkey that comes over at our place loves chocolate chimp. Since Im all about chocolate, how bout a little sugar? Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. You gave my life thrill just like sweets do to my taste buds. You are signed up for our newsletter! A handful of the funniest chocolate jokes will make your holiday celebration dramatic and merriment-filled. Hey baby, want to have some fun with me along with some chocolate tonight? Hey girl can you be the candy sprinkles to my ice cream? See you in the Email! I feel better already. What use are cartridges in battle? Ideas for the top 101 chocolate jokes were taken from the following sources. You can use these phrases in whatever comedic form you like. ", A race of aliens visits earth one day; they come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English. I do recommend a piece of good-quality dark chocolate as a healthy snack . How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Ted, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, Fruit of all the kinds that the country produced were laid before him; he ate very little, but from time to time a liquor prepared from cocoa, and of an aphrodisiac nature, as we were told, was presented to him in golden cups I observed a number of jars, above fifty, brought in, filled with foaming chocolate of which he took some Bernal Diaz del Castillo, member of Corts force, describing a meal of emperor Montezuma, 1519, Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk. 7. I would go to Italy and eat ice cream if I won the gelato-ry! I love hole foods. Do you think you need more sweet? You have this effect on me I only feel upon eating chocolate. What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? What is a monkeys favorite cookie? Lindt.A man said to the chocolate maker, Are you a magician?No, said the chocolate maker, but I do have a couple of Twix up my sleeve.Last night in jail the prisoners were given mint chocolates for dessert. If there is a food that tastes like you I would definitely get a supply of those forever. What are the 4 major food groups? Julia Louis-Dreyfus, I probably have some sort of chocolate five times a week. It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. Robert Paul. Am i enough for you? Kids these days are so stupid. Diabetes. A: The letters a and o are reversed. The doctor walks in and says, "I have some bad news. I only eat chocolate for you, so there will be more of me to love. Chocolate bar prices have really gone up. A: Because, when you put three of them together, you get KKK. One day he finds a magic lamp on the beach. Whats the best part of Valentines Day? Snickers he only snickers! TheLaughFactory. My final hope for a smokin' hot body! The tenth lies. The prisoners thought they wouldnt be any good, but they were. Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. Mother to son: "I'm warning you. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! He rubs it and a genie appears. Its nice that if I want something sweet I wont ever have to hold back cause I have you. Some like it hot, some like it cold; I like it chocolate! Bob Greene, Chocolate makes everyone smile-even bankers. Candy, who? That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!" Who is the sweetest man in the world? Lucy Van Pelt, Peanuts, Biochemically, love is just like eating large amounts of chocolate. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! Why cant trans men enjoy chocolate? I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling . I asked him where he got that from.He said, I always have a few Twix up my sleeve.Theyve unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nutsThe mummy was wrapped in gold foil, so they believe it is the legendary Pharaoh Rocher.I identify as a chocolate barMy pronouns are her/she.What kind of chocolate does the dryer like?Lindt Chocolate.A mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts has been discovered in EgyptArchaeologists and historians believe it must be Pharoah Roche. Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: - You can GET chocolate. Cheese Jokes. The segments were spun-out into their own series on June 13, 2003 (although the 2003-2004 episodes were also produced originally for Grim & Evil), and continued to air until November 9, 2007. . ", responds the alien. But she ate every letter in her name and left me with COCOA. Are you chocolate? Laugh more: 87 Car Jokes That Will Drive You Crazy. A guy is sitting at the doctor's office. Do you love chocolate or hot cocoa? On a cold and gray Chicago mornin where was another little baby chocolate bar born? I can definitely make an adjustment for you. Copy This. Youll find here clean chocolate jokes and puns for chocolate lovers that you can share with everyone like your parents, school teacher, etc. Because she was a Her-She-y bar! Theres definitely a change it does to the chemistry of the body. Forget you put it in the microwave. Cadbury is an international chocolate brand that is loved by many. What do you call an extra sweet cookie? ChocoLATE. If you were a concentration gradient, I . I live for it. Can you think of anything sweeter than a joke about chocolate? Nothing else comes to mind to finish this rhyme, so I'll just spit it out - most importantly, you gave us the Star Wars . I always carry chocolate instead. To return Click Here. The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep." The Greek term theobroma (Latin name for cacao) means literally food of the gods. Judith Viorst. Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. Are your legs made of Nutella? One snatches your watch. ChocoLATE Is your name sweet because you absolutely are. How do you A balanced diet is a chocolate in each hand! Nibbling is not enough, know that I want to devour you fast. Itll take the edge off your appetite, and youll eat less. Copy This. I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. They went in and the jamaican said to the cashier " yuh want to see a magic trick?" Diabetes.. Jake has diabetes Knock, knock.Whos there?Chalk.Chalk who?Chocolate is my favourite flavour ice cream. Lincoln replied.if you are my wife I'll gladly drink it. Chocolate Tessellation inspired me to mix cacao and cocoa alphabetically, but that made me sneeze: aaaccccooo!. Such things are not going to affect ones lifebut 1932 the Mars Bar and 1936 Maltesers and 1937 the Kit Kat these dates are milestones in history and should be seared into the memory of every child in the country. Donut kill my vibe. The man wished for a million dollars, and poof! The perfect Valentines Day treat for anyone who loves chocolate (which is pretty much everyone). Get stuck in. Bagel Jokes. You are so sweet, I would eat you over chocolate any day. When it comes to stealing chocolate bars Hello . What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Addiction & Guilt Lora Brody, Growing Up on the Chocolate Diet, A true chocolate lover finds ways to accommodate his passion and make it work with his lifestyle. By eating a 1.5-ounce milk chocolate bar, you get the same amount of these protective compounds as in a 5-ounce glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. We allow other website publishers to quote small snippets of text. Do you like it dark or milky? by Taureano Ent January 12, 2020, 6:39 am 1.6k Views 3 Comments. For you I can be 100% made of sugar so that I will be enough sweet for you. I heard a rumor that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental Cadbury crave bar. Chocolate Stores Where to Buy Chocolate, Coverquotes Click N Collect | Click and Collect, You Can Keep Your Heart and Brain Healthy with the Right Chocolate, Scientists Say. Why did the candy bar cross the road? Well, jokes about chocolate can be funny or at least mildly amusing. Katharine Hepburn. Q: Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Talking is frowned at in the local chocolate factory, so I only wispa when I get there. What did the M&M go to college? I feel like I went to heaven full of chocolate upon getting a taste of you. Eat a square meal a day a box of chocolate. It is a source of polyphenols, the same type of antioxidants found in red wine, and the fat it contains is stearic acid, which doesnt affect cholesterol levels. What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. Were it not for deaths agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out on the kitchen table, were hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. I bought a Mars bar, a Milky Way and a galaxy, and they were astronomical.I got myself a hazelnut and chocolate sports car. Sandra Boynton, Chocolate: the Consuming Passion, Las cosas claras y el chocolate espeso. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Did you hear about the chocolate bar burglar?! The only favorite thing I have in this cruel world aside from sweets is having you in my life. The optimist sees the glass as half full. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? You can call me metronidazole because I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air. Yo mamma so fat, when she walked out of candy land there was nothing left! Peter Rogers, Ph.D., Institute of Food Research. Babe, you are definitely not M&M, because you are melting by my fingers. 4. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. The third kid went down and said, "Weeeeeeee . Among lifes mysteries is how a two-pound box of chocolate can make a person gain five pounds. Anything tastes better dipped in chocolate. ao! ", A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shoppe and carefully, slowly climbed up onto a counter stool. Who doesnt love Hershey chocolate jokes? I cant stand eating Turkey two days in a row. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "ab818a5f89fd344f6f5c1b7530f931de" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Q: Why do complete morons hate M&Ms? "Take only one. A candy baaaaa-r! Chocolates are an excellent energy-booster, but they go extremely wild when kids have overeaten. To display your contact list, you must sign in: 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious. !. What does that have to do with anything?" What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. There are many jokes about chocolate bars and chocolate cookies in our selection, so its a bit like opening a box of chocolates. I told my girlfriend that if she wanted her Hersheys bar she had to bark like a dog. 2. A cad-bury. Because I see me filling you up with my nuts. Have you seen all jokes? My tongue still craves your kind of sweet baby. I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts.I wont lie, it was a Rocky Road.So I try to eat healthy.But every time I try, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.What type of snack is never on time?Choco-late.My cousin works in a chocolate shop.He works behind the bar.Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in Egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.They believe its Pharaoh Roche.My son is three years old and I took him shopping.When we got home, he had a chocolate bar in his pocket.Now, I didnt buy it and he certainly didnt buy it, so I marched him straight back to the shopping centre and went to the jewellers.A Korean martial artist was giving away chocolate bars.I asked if I could have 2.He said, No. Cadburies have announced theyre going into administration. I love chocolate to eat. Cacao. She had Josie 's classic hairdo (complete with a tiny bow), and was a girlfriend of Reggie. Babe, you know what's better than that Tootsie roll? Anything is good and useful if its made of chocolate. Heres more compilation of incredibly delicious chocolate jokes for your amusement. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?A Candy Baa.My wife always cheats when shes dieting.She hides chocolate bars around the house and fucks other menDid you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty?They had a baby, Ruth.What do you call a womanising chocolate?A cad-bury.How do you know its cold outside?When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTeWhy did they put Viagra in chocolate bars?You eat it, She says, Oh, Oh Henry!What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? The theme may be cold and as thick as heavy snow, but these jokes will fill the room with warm and cozy laughter! Tap To Copy. A man found a bottle on the beach. My favorite is the old man trying to get to the chocolate chip cookies. Edit them in the Widget section of the. So, Easter commemorates when Jesus hid eggs for the disciples to find, and then he turned all the rabbits into chocolate, right? I am a serious chocoholic. More jokes about: animal, blonde, chocolate, stupid. Why didnt the cow produce any chocolate milk? A balanced diet consists of items from the five major food groups: dairy, grains, meats, fruits/vegetables, and chocolate. An old man and a young man worked in office next to each other. Share. 3 Musketeers! These banana puns are going to make you peel over in laughter. Youre like a sweet because Id like to drizzle you on any food and still not get enough of you. I do not want anything fancy just you and a whole bowl of flavored ice cream. I said, "Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. I like to keep my Options open.Whats the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and one that produces chocolate milk? Are you a box of chocolate? 3.14159265. What kind of bar is kid-friendly? Bean = vegetable. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? Lets get right into the chocolate silliness and dive right in. You've probably laughed when you saw someone slip over a banana peel before but that's not the only time this fruit can be funny. Look, theres no metaphysics on earth like chocolates. Everyone got a piece. Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. To bake Star Wars bread, you have to use the bicarbonate of Yoda. He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae. There you are in front of me. Theres a thin person inside of me screaming to get out, but I keep her sedated with chocolate. Apparently, he still had a few twix up his sleeves. Chocolate and kids together is a wild combination. Chocolate is a serious thing! If you're looking for dirty, lowbrow and totally hilarious deez nuts jokes, you're in the right place! A: Theyre too hard to peel. - Dr. Are you chocolate pudding, because I want to spoon you all night long. If Bob has 30 chocolate bars and eats 25, what does he have? The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?" Andrew Weil, M.D. Do you know a bakery around? 1. 107 Chocolate Jokes That Are Deliciously Funny! If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don't come running to . "You mean J.C? When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. Chocolate fantasy in progress. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? Because I would like one kiss from you. Im sure chocolate lovers like thesefunny chocolate jokes! Why is a Toblerone triangular? You are the kind of sweet I am not willing to share. Your site is very interesting. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? Mr. Good, who? if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Imogen life without chocolate! Tiefing Darling, you are like chocolate, you make everything better. So, eat lots of chocolate! Dairy, who? Q: Why dont they make white M&Ms? If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevant. Those are really cool jokes man and the quotes are awesome, Amazing..Im craving chocolate now.drool drool, Imogen all the people We have a fun collection of friendly and delicious jokes, riddles, and puns about chocolate that are clean and safe to use.
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